Jurassic World [2015] Action // Adventure

2.5 stars. Mediocre.

If I had to pick one word it would be glossy. There was too much gloss. Everything was shiny. Everything was pristine. It was okay. I mean seriously, what else can I say about it? It wasn't spectacular or revoluationary. The plot was about as predictable as it gets. The acting was tolerable. It was just okay.

Make no mistake, this is a REBOOT and nothing more. Save for the glossy new sci-fi technology and specialize effects (most of which we've seen before in TV shows) there is absolutely nothing new to find with this film.

Compared to the first movie, where the VFX was front and center, this movie just throws action bullshit and CG dinosaurs in your face. I think the dirties they got was one scene where they crawl out of the water onto mud. Compared to the original, where people are getting shit on, puked on, eaten, spattered by mud and dirt and water this was just a chase movie. It's not impressive. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. Godzilla was impressive. This was neither scary or impressive or amusing.

I also have to fault it for trite plot and subplots especially. I know it's supposed to be cliche, but there is a limit. The threshold for predictable vs necessary was tipped extremely far to predictable. The character arcs are also broken down like this:

Older brother: He is nice to little brother by the end. Okay.

Younger brother: Literally nothing as far as I can tell.

Red head: Not much. But she gets a boyfriend. She gets dirty? I guess...

Space Lord: Literally nothing. He gets the girl.

Black dude: Dies.

English Woman: Dies.

Indian guy: Dies.

NAVY Military "Bad" guy: Fails?

Literally nothing came together. Some shit went down...they got over it. There were dinosaurs. The end.

I wish this movie had gone more dramatic in terms of character depth. It's rated PG-13, but I think what I was craving was something rated-R. The danger (on purpose) never felt that close. It was always lurking, but never felt like it would get you or any of the character you actually cared about. The plot armor was too obvious.

There were also dozens of in-world subplots that amounted to nothing more than space filler, and distraction. Seriously, the whole "conflict" with the lab gear getting moved out felt like it could (and arguably should have) been an entire section of the movie. Instead, it, like everything else, is glossed over.