6.5 Stars (or whatever)
X-Men First Class [2011]
Alright, so this movie was a reboot / prequel to the X-Men trilogy (Not the Wolverine spin off). This movie is in its purest form an extremely basic action movie. There is nothing profound or ground breaking about it. The movie was for all intents and purposes entertaining, but nothing else. That's not saying the movie was bad per say, on the contrary, I thought it was pretty well executed....for what it was. Although, it S/could have been better. It's certainly nothing revolutionary and does nothing to add to the genera of super-hero genera the way, say, Spider Man did. It was worlds better than movies like "The Hulk" or "Fantcraptic 4" but overall, yeah...just it was okay.
So, the movie takes place during the cold war, featuring a very young Xavier and his buddy what's his nuts Magneto before he was Magneto. Oh, and Mystique and a few other randoms like The Beast. The story tries pretty freaking hard to be something it isn't though, profound / revolutionary. It wanted to make you say "HOLY HELL! THATS WHY THAT HAPPENED IN THE FUTURE!" but my reaction was like "meh. k, so they chose yellow and blue for the suits" or whatever. Nothing actually blew my mind.
There was nothing special about the mutants they chose, specifically the bad guys. Unlike the first few films where the mutants at least felt, plausible (within their subjective universe) these mutants just felt...boring.
Oh, wow... a guy that throws lasers... wow...diamond girl.... oh boy, a guy looks like a devil and doesn't really do much of anything (did he throw fire or teleport or something?). Basically, you have a convoluted story of random bullshit characters doing random bullshit stuff and then the climax happens. It was sloppy. The costumes were okay, the sets were meh, and the acting was ...passable.
I think what this movie lacked (proper action / story) it made up for in drama. It was just so god damn dramatic. Like, if you ignore the fact that you both A) Don't give a shit about the characters and B) Accept that you're just waiting for shit to go down, it's pretty entertaining. They don't force the side love story down your throat too too hard, but if I'm honest it did feel like I was gargling the directors nuts (the way I felt watching the Japan theme of Wolverine [2013]) at some points, while being forced to watch random training sequences like it's fucking rocky or something. Like really, just get on with the X-Jet we've seen in the trailers...
So then shit finally pops off and a bunch of random assclown no name mutans duke it out and pick sides and then the finally happens and it's all "oh look he ended up in a fucking wheel chair, what a surprise..." and then it's all "CALL ME MAGNETO BITCH" and I'm like, honestly, just fuck this entire movie.
But yeah....it was okay. It's tolerable, I'll say that much. It's nothing profound, it's nothing ridiculously entertaining, and the mutant action is really nothing to be desired. I mean, how the hell can you top the third movie where Kitty (Ellen Paige) is looking all sexy and fux0ring the Juggernaut BITCH!?
Anyhow, Mystique makes an appearance and again no one really gives a shit....
Basically, this whole movie boils down to this
Okay. We get it. It's in the past. It's X-Men. Oh, look a reference to the movies. Oh, look some shitty origin story. Oh, it's over. That was cool, I mean...I guess...
Would I recommend it?
Honestly, no. The only people I would possibly recommend this movie to are already going to have watched it and probably moved it so much they creamed themselves when they saw half of the poorly directed action scenes. Xavier's acting notwithstanding (WHERE IS WANTED 2?!) this movie was mediocre.
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